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In the wee hours of last night, my feeding tube bag ripped.

In my 9 years of using a feeding tube, I have never had a bag rip, but last night I did. Quite frankly, I didn’t even know the bag could rip. I guess you can call me naïve.

The rip resulted in what can only be described as a cascade of room-temperature enzyme-laden feeding tube formula. In fact, the pressure inside the airtight sealed bag forced the liquid out like a fire hydrant bursting on a hot summer day.

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Maybe you’ll laugh, maybe you’ll commiserate with me, maybe you’ll roll your eyes, but the sight of such a scene left me motionless. No, I didn’t reach for the emergency towel I keep near by (you read that right, I keep an emergency towel near by for leaks or spills); no, I didn’t jump out of the way; no, I didn’t rely on my laser sharp reflexes. Instead, I let it happen. The sheer sight of my feeding tube bag turned fire hose was mesmerizing. My bed, my floor, my dresser and I were subsequently covered in thiccccccc feeding tube formula.

Given the hour of the incident, I didn’t think to have my camera rolling, but I did snap a quick photo once the frustration of the situation turned to eye-rolling humor.

Seen in the picture is the bath mat I position below the IV pole to catch any leaks from the tube when I disconnect in the middle of the night. That bath mat was the real hero of this story. What you can’t see in the picture is the puddle of Liquid Hope lying motionless on top of the mat. I shutter to think what would have happened had that bath mat not been there.

Following the catastrophe, I was on my hands and knees for what seemed like forever scrubbing the bed frame, dresser and carpeting. I stripped the bed and wrapped myself up in a loose blanket. I’ll deal with the rest at some point today.

If there’s a lesson in this, I’m not sure what it is. I have no idea how or why the bag ripped, and I don’t have the slightest clue how to prevent it from happening again. I guess 1 catastrophic event out of 9 years of feeding tube use isn’t the worst thing to happen. After all, a .300 batting average gets you in the hall of fame!

….So here’s my million dollar question… What is your go to carpet cleaner? I’d prefer not to fall asleep to the lovely smell of Liquid Hope.